KFC’s New Famous Bowls

I have not tried one. Let me just say that first and foremost. I’m not sure if I’m ready to tack the word “yet” onto the end of that first sentence.

When I first saw the commercial I thought, “You gotta be kidding me!?” After seeing the TV spot about 318 times my curiosity was starting to outweigh the initial shock. What to do? Should I try one? I’m not really one to discriminate against food because I pretty much enjoy everything, save green olives and raw ahi tuna. And I am allergic to shell fish. (This when you get your pants in an uproar because I can’t eat those delectable bottom feeders like shrimp and crabs. I’d probably destroy a lobster given the chance. But moving on now.)

Layers of flavor is right! “Layers of Flavor” is KFC’s little tagline for this new item. You can’t blame them for being innovators. Okay, it’s nothing new to put brown gravy over mashed potatoes. Adding corn, eh, that’s cool with me because sometime things get mixed up my plate and if I’m feeling saucy I’ll mix stuff like that just for kicks.

So now you have corn mixed with mashed potatoes and gravy. Fine. Thanksgiving come early this year. But where’s the turkey? Oh no baby, this is KFC. Kentucky Fried Chicken, bitches. Bring on those fake chicken crunchy things!

At this point, the thought is, “Okay… chicken, turkey… it’s all the same these days. Fried chicken? Sure, fried stuff tastes damn good.”

I’m pretty sure that if someone broke into your house, stole your cat, fried it up and fed it to you with some BBQ sauce you’d be all over it. After they’d say, “You just ate your cat.” You’d cry; then ask if there were any leftovers.

Point is, fried chicken with mashed potatoes, gravy and corn is, well, all gravy.

I guess KFC really takes it over the top when they add a “three-cheese blend” to this mix of two American staples: fried chicken and potatoes. That’s when I kinda threw in the towel during the first time I saw the commercial.

When you break it all down, the world will never really know whether this was invented by some genius KFC master in (I would hope) Kentucky or some stoner who went through the drive thru at midnight and requested all that stuff in one big bowl. Imagine this stoner came back night after night requesting the same thing, the fast-food establishment began to refer to it as “the stoner special,” and eventually a manager took notice and mentioned something to corporate headquarters. (Which, again, I’m hoping is in Kentucky because if not the whole enterprise is a travshamockery. You gotta stay true to your roots, Colonel Sanders.)

If I try one someday I’ll write a follow-up. Stay tuned, hungry people.

PS – My friend Brad had one, couldn’t finish it, but said it was great.