Pluto gets the boot

And I think I’m okay with it. See, the more we learn about our solar system, the more Pluto seems to blend in with the rest of the outer solar system objects. Out there, in the far reaches of this arrangement of masses that is home to our own Earth, there’s a bunch of small, icy bodies hanging around.

Most people know of the asteroid belt that separates us (and Mercury, Venus and Mars) from the gas giants like Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune but the Kuiper belt is less known. I don’t know much about it either, but I do know that it contains a lot of small asteroids and things and it lies just beyond the orbit of Neptune. Pluto passes through this belt while on the outer part of it’s very oblong orbit.

The International Astronomical Union is in the middle of huge convention in Prague, Czech Republic. One of the main tasks of this convention is creating a specific definition for planets. So basically, 2500 astronomers representing about 75 countries sat around and debated what makes up a planet and as a result, Pluto is out.

It’s time now to throw out those little mnemonic devices for remembering all the NINE planets of the solar system because that number just became EIGHT: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune.

So far there are no plans to send rockets out to Pluto and blow the bastard clean out of our solar system. No, what happened today is more of demotion, like that time when I a bus boy and a few times I washed dishes. Get it?

Instead of planet status, Pluto will be “reclassified” into a new category of “dwarf planets” but don’t worry, Pluto gets some homeys.

Joining her is the largest of Pluto’s three moons, Charon. But that’s not all, folks. Also now in this sub-planet category is an asteroid called Ceres located in the asteroid belt that was considered a planet in the 1800s until it was demoted. (See Pluto? It’s not so bad after all. Ceres is still around today). Rounding out the “dwarf planet crew” is the furthest known object in the solar system – which happens to be bigger than Pluto – 2003 UB313. The man who discovered UB313 has dubbed her “Xena” but as of yet there is no official naming.

Neptune becomes the furthest “real” planet in the solar system. I like it… because Neptune is my favorite planet. I’m not sure why, didn’t all kids have a favorite planet growing up? I did. My preference, I think, is based of those pictures that are colored by humans based on what we believe is the chemical makeup of the body. It appears this cool blue color, and then it has the Great Dark Spot. I’m sure it’s great for vacationing.


PS – Neptune is actually further from the Sun than Pluto for a while due to Pluto’s wacky orbit. Neptune has 13 known moons and is about the size of 58 Earths.

Music update

New albums, tours, and all that other madness

I was a huge Smashing Pumpkins fan when I was a kid. My older brother still breaks my balls about it. In fact, just two weeks ago I received a nice voice mail from him and his friend Kristen where he proceeded to sing the comedic parody song, “What if the guy from the Smashing Pumpkins lost his car keys.”

I think they were the first band that I really got into and it was pretty excessive now in hindsight. Yeah that’s right, I had the ZERO shirt. Wanna fight about it!?

It was from Billy Corgan and the Smashing Pumpkins that my passion for music sprouted into the fruitful tree it is today. And because of that, I’m thankful. I still have all their albums and give them a spin from time to time but I’m quite proud of my diversity.

According to a short message on their website, drummer Jimmy Chamberlain and frontman Billy Corgan are recording. This comes after the June 2005 full page ad Corgan took out in the Chicago Tribune and Sun-Times announcing he wanted to “revive” his band because it was his life, or something like that. Apparently Zwan sucked. He put out a solo record that I heard was kinda crappy. I saw them perform a song on Conan or another late night show and I concurred with the craptasticness of it. Oh well.

Who knows what this recording time will yield and who will join the duo. I think D’Arcy and James are pretty much a no go since they all blew up at each other back in ’04. I wish James would come around because I think he’s an amazing guitarist and apparently so did the guys in A Perfect Circle; he toured with them and then recorded eMOTIVe and I’d imagine he’d be on board for further projects. Hey fellas, will you please get a n***a with anotha album.

(I’m in the mood for some Perfect Circle now.)

I wish I had some nice transition here, such as some news about A Perfect Circle but instead I’m just going to mention that a 2007 Timberlake/Aguliera tour is in the works.

Also next year…

You can expect a new Interpol album. The NYC foursome hasn’t started recording yet, but is rehearsing relentlessly, which is certainly their M.O.

Their contract was with Matador Records after their fantastic debut album “Turn on the Bright Lights” and equally great(?) sophomore follow up “Antics.” Capital Records, which apparently was courting them even before they signed with Matador, recently inked a deal with Interpol. Details are not known.

The Shins new album will be out early next year, apparently. Their still untitled album was originally aimed for release this summer, then got bumped back to October and now is loosely set to release, like I said, “early 2007.” I’m really excited for that one too. They managed to outdo themselves with “Chutes Too Narrow” the sophomore follow up to “Oh, Inverted World” which put them on the map with two songs featured in the cult classic film Garden State.

Another one of my favorite artists, Ben Folds, is releasing what is basically a compilation LP of songs from his three EPs that were only made available over the Internet: “Speed Graphic,” “Sunny 16,” and “Super D.” A few new tracks will appear on the album including a version of Dr. Dre’s “Bitches ain’t shit.” Oct. 24 is the set release for “Supersunnyspeedgraphic, the LP.”

One week after that, the Deftones will release their fifth studio album, “Saturday Night Wrist” which features System of a Down vocalist Serj Tankian on one track. The Deftones say they nearly broke up during the recording of this record due to lack of communication. As did the aforementioned band Interpol.

On a more personal level, since my last blog when I said I didn’t have any concerts coming up… well, that’s no longer true.

I knew is was coming up, but I think I forgot: MMW HALLOWEEN NYC!

Medeski Martin Wood Halloween shows in New York have become somewhat of a tradition now for me and a few good friends; I think this will be our fourth consecutive year, if I’m not mistaken. Oh, and all of them have been UNIQUE in their own ways. (Which reminds me, I gotta order that ticket today.) Last year I wore the Slim Jim outfit for a while but it was just totally uncomfortable and impractical due to having access to my pockets. Plus, I looked like a fat ass. I’m about 40 lbs lighter this year; the search for a Halloween costume might soon begin.

Yeah, they have a new album out Sept. 26 called “Out Louder” with an amazing guitarist, John Scofield, in the lineup. So now they’re MSMW apparently. It doesn’t have the same “ring” as MMW but it’s all good, these guys are probably the most talented musicians I’ve ever seen live.

MSMW is playing the Electric Factory in Philly less than two weeks after the Halloween show in NY. I’m tempted…

On Friday I went to a free concert at noon sponsored by local public radio station XPN at the World Café Live in Philly. Pete Yorn performed a handful of songs. I was thankful I got to see him during the day because I was missing his two shows last weekend while in Ocean City, Maryland.

But! He’s playing nine shows before heading to Australia for a tour: three LA shows, three in Chicago, and three in Manhattan. He’s playing CBGB’s on Sept. 14 and I think I’m hitting that one up with some friends.

“Nightcrawler” is in stores Aug. 29. It’s Pete Yorn’s third album. You should buy it because he’s from New Jers and rocks!

Rounding out this long blog I’ll mention that Say Anything is one of my absolute favorite bands and that you should really pick up “… Is a Real Boy” today. I’m probably going to see them for the second time in October. They’re playing Irving Plaza on the 11th and I can’t wait to sing along and yell things like, “Slathered in the sauce, sarcastic. So go choke on your irony” and “I called her on the phone and she touched herself. I laughed myself to sleep.”

The quest continues

One quiet Summer morning in the Media Services a few co-workers and I were talking about how Wikipedia is like totally the best thing EVER!

(I didn’t mean to do this… but as a simple aside I just want to say that the word “ever” is completely overused in speech today and it really needs to stop. For example, how many times has someone said to you something like, “Oh my God, funniest thing ever!” or “Best day ever!” When people do this now I reply, “Ever? Really?” Enough already with the word “ever” because whatever pointless thing you’re saying was the best ever or coolest ever or funniest ever or most fun ever is most likely not the best, funniest or greatest or whatever thing ever. There’s no possible way that the picture you just took on your camera phone of you and your buddies making stupid faces and drinking cheap beer is the “best picture ever.” Please, get over it.)

Well then. Here comes the best blog EVER! (Okay, that’s it, I’m never using that word EVER again.)

Seriously though, here we go.

So we were poking around Wikipedia. Glen, while sitting with his hands on the keyboard waiting to type, asks, “What should I look up?” Without really thinking, I saw a box of Cap’n Crunch on his desk and just said, “Captain Crunch.”

It was a very enlightening experience. You can learn a lot of things from Wikipedia. Sometimes accurate, mostly useless.

We all laughed as we read about how Cap’n Crunch’s REAL name is actually Horatio Magellan Crunch and he was born and raised on Crunch Island in the Milk Sea. The son to Admiral Horatio Crunch Sr., the Horatio grew to be Cap’n of The Guppy.

Pretty useless, huh? We thought so too. And my girlfriend made fun of me for it… a lot. Horatio Magellan. Yup.

But after catching a glimpse of the superb and dazzling Tony Danza show this morning the uselessness of knowing Cap’n Crunch’s real name was elevated from completely useless to almost completely useless (after all, it IS the Tony Danza show).

In a blatant Plinko rip-off, the “Extravadanza” has a Plinko-looking board with Tony Danza’s face on it and oversized waving hands at the bottom. Oh, daytime television.

Someone on the phone has to answer questions in order for the person standing above Tony Danza’s Extravadanza Plinko rip-off to get chips to drop. You remember Plinko, right?

Wouldn’t ya know it? One of the questions was something along the lines of, “What is the real name of cartoon cereal celebrity Cap’n Crunch?”

Even more shocking than the fact that Tony Danza’s innovative daytime television talk show even asked, this lady on the line got the f-ing question right. “Horatio Magellan Crunch,” she replied.

I don’t know what else to say.

The quest for the most useless knowledge continues…