The quest continues

One quiet Summer morning in the Media Services a few co-workers and I were talking about how Wikipedia is like totally the best thing EVER!

(I didn’t mean to do this… but as a simple aside I just want to say that the word “ever” is completely overused in speech today and it really needs to stop. For example, how many times has someone said to you something like, “Oh my God, funniest thing ever!” or “Best day ever!” When people do this now I reply, “Ever? Really?” Enough already with the word “ever” because whatever pointless thing you’re saying was the best ever or coolest ever or funniest ever or most fun ever is most likely not the best, funniest or greatest or whatever thing ever. There’s no possible way that the picture you just took on your camera phone of you and your buddies making stupid faces and drinking cheap beer is the “best picture ever.” Please, get over it.)

Well then. Here comes the best blog EVER! (Okay, that’s it, I’m never using that word EVER again.)

Seriously though, here we go.

So we were poking around Wikipedia. Glen, while sitting with his hands on the keyboard waiting to type, asks, “What should I look up?” Without really thinking, I saw a box of Cap’n Crunch on his desk and just said, “Captain Crunch.”

It was a very enlightening experience. You can learn a lot of things from Wikipedia. Sometimes accurate, mostly useless.

We all laughed as we read about how Cap’n Crunch’s REAL name is actually Horatio Magellan Crunch and he was born and raised on Crunch Island in the Milk Sea. The son to Admiral Horatio Crunch Sr., the Horatio grew to be Cap’n of The Guppy.

Pretty useless, huh? We thought so too. And my girlfriend made fun of me for it… a lot. Horatio Magellan. Yup.

But after catching a glimpse of the superb and dazzling Tony Danza show this morning the uselessness of knowing Cap’n Crunch’s real name was elevated from completely useless to almost completely useless (after all, it IS the Tony Danza show).

In a blatant Plinko rip-off, the “Extravadanza” has a Plinko-looking board with Tony Danza’s face on it and oversized waving hands at the bottom. Oh, daytime television.

Someone on the phone has to answer questions in order for the person standing above Tony Danza’s Extravadanza Plinko rip-off to get chips to drop. You remember Plinko, right?

Wouldn’t ya know it? One of the questions was something along the lines of, “What is the real name of cartoon cereal celebrity Cap’n Crunch?”

Even more shocking than the fact that Tony Danza’s innovative daytime television talk show even asked, this lady on the line got the f-ing question right. “Horatio Magellan Crunch,” she replied.

I don’t know what else to say.

The quest for the most useless knowledge continues…